SPLINTER PINES, AUS — In a moment that brought tears to the eyes of local golfers and grounds crew alike, a centimeter-long shard of wood, once part of a proud full-length tee, was ceremoniously honoured Thursday morning after surviving its 50th consecutive use on the par-3 10th hole at Splinter Pines Golf Club.
The broken tee, affectionately dubbed “Old Stubby” by regulars, has become a symbol of frugality, tradition, and passive-aggressive tee box etiquette.
“I saw it lying there last week and thought, ‘Wow, this thing’s still got some life,’” said club member Andy Capp, who used the tee for his 9-iron shot and then gently placed it back in the exact divot it came from. “It’s like passing down a sacred relic.”
Club officials confirmed that Old Stubby has been used by 87 different golfers, 6 junior clinic participants, and one guy attempting to remove some wax from his ear canal. The tee’s resilience has sparked admiration and mild concern.
“We’ve had full-length tees become unusable on their first swing,” said head groundskeeper Linda McDivot. “But this little guy? He’s seen more action than our beverage cart.”
In honor of the milestone, Splintering Pines held a brief ceremony involving a velvet pillow, a slow clap, and a spot on the clubhouse honour board right below the group that lied about shooting a 47 in an Ambrose tournament.
Despite calls to retire Old Stubby to the clubhouse trophy case, the tee remains in active service for members of the public to admire, which the club states is akin to getting a chance to see Jack Nicklaus play in the 70’s.
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