Since The Tee Times has yet to be invited to review any courses, in a bold act of journalistic integrity and mild trespassing, our team of golf reviewers infiltrated the prestigious Royal Australian Golf & Country Club to bring you an exclusive review of the only three holes we could access without being detected by grounds staff.
The Mission
Armed with our half-set and deep disrespect for property lines, we approached the course from the east side, where we believe the fence was more “suggestion” than “barrier.” After a brief sprint across a fairway and a strategically timed roll under a hedge, we found ourselves standing triumphantly on the 4th tee box, hearts pounding and polos slightly grass-stained.
Hole 4: Par 3 – “The Gateway”
A charming downhill par 3 with a green that slopes gently toward a large bunker. The tee box is conveniently located just 10 meters from the public sidewalk, making it ideal for the casual golfer/trespasser.
Hole 5: Par 4 – “The Sprint”
This hole features a dogleg left and a fairway that runs parallel to a quiet residential street, allowing for easy escape if things go south. We played it as quickly as our set of triple bogeys would allow. The green was in immaculate condition, which we admired briefly before diving into a bush to avoid a passing golf cart.
Hole 8: Par 5 – “The Mistake”
We should not have gone for the 8th, pushed our luck to be honest. It was a longer walk from the street, and we had to cross a small creek and a wedding reception to avoid the highly visible 6th and 7th.. The hole itself was majestic, but unfortunately, we were spotted on the teebox by a man who asked “how were we hitting them?”, so we just legged it.
Final Review
While we cannot speak to the rest of Royal Australian Golf & Country Club (due to legal reasons and a restraining order), the 4th, 5th, and 8th holes offer a delightful blend of challenge, beauty, and tactical evasion. Highly recommended for any golfer with a strong short game and a flexible moral compass.
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