Square Strike Wedges named after the golfers who use them

DWEEB WOODS, USA – In a bold announcement that industry insiders are calling “brutally honest and not that surprising” Square Strike Golf confirmed today that its famously uncool wedge line is actually named after the golfers most likely to use them: Squares.

“We just decided to lean into it,” said Square Strike marketing director Chungus Nerdlinger, adjusting his tucked-in polo into his extremely high shorts. “Our customers aren’t out there trying to impress anyone. They’re out there to shoot a 94 with some sort of dignity. And now, they’ll do it with the new Square Strike: Herb Edition.”

Golfers across the country have responded with mild enthusiasm and several polite nods.

“I don’t care what the ‘cool kids’ say,” said 63-year-old Gerald Asthma while practicing his bump-and-run in white New Balance sneakers. “This club gets me on the green in three, and that’s all I need. Also, I like that its neon green colour matches my orthopedic insoles.”

The Square Strike line has long been the subject of ridicule from any other golfers who actually have a vague sense of shame and style. But Square Strike users remain unfazed.

“Let them laugh,” said Gertrude Rocktumbler, who carries only eight Square Strikes and a putter in her oversized staff bag “I may not be cool, but I haven’t chunked a chip since 2018.”