Other “golf guy” in the office petrified when you actually invite him to play

DIRE CONSULTING PTY LTD, USA – Local office loudmouth and self-declared “gun” Steve McAllister is reportedly experiencing acute psychological distress after being invited to a weekend round of golf by a colleague who mistakenly assumed Steve’s constant bragging meant he actually plays.

McAllister, who has spent the last 18 months casually dropping phrases like “I bomb it 280 easy” and “my short game’s pure fire at the moment” during Monday morning meetings, was visibly shaken when coworker James Chen asked if he’d like to tee it up at Royal Park this Saturday.

“Wait, like… actually play?” McAllister asked, eyes darting nervously as he tried to recall where his clubs were, or if he even still owned any. “I mean, yeah, I’m down. Just gotta check with… uh… my landscaper.”

Sources say McAllister has never played a full 18 holes and gains the majority of his golf knowledge from DJ Khaled’s instagram account.

“He talks like he’s on the PGA Tour,” said Chen, who carries a modest 12 handicap and mistakenly believed he’d found a worthy weekend rival. “But when I asked what ball he plays, he said ‘the white one.’”

McAllister is reportedly scrambling to book a last-minute 3 hour lesson, watch 14 hours of Rick Shiels videos, and was last seen practicing his swing in the break room using a broomstick.